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How to Not be a Creep: Understanding Complex Human Nature

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Do you know that a great person-to-person connection doesn’t need a phone number or email id today? There are times when we enjoy a temporary connection and try to possess it. And, in the process, come across as creeps despite maybe no bad intention. So, how to connect with people without their details and keep it free flowing sans intimidation and overwhelming the other? Watch this video till the end and you’ll learn some unspoken rules of human connection and find your answer to how to not be a creep.

No. 1 point to reflect to uinderstand how not to be a creep is to understand that humans are complex. They might not be what they look, sound, or behave on the surface. You know that your parents don’t know you well or your father doesn’t know your mom or mom knows your father well despite living a married life over 30-40 years. You know how working in a company for ages still doesn’t help the boss understand their employee. So, you can’t and shouldn’t and mustn’t try to approach a person in any way unless there is a substantial period of convergence. 

No. 2, Now you may think that if it is so complex to connect with others, then no one ever will trust another person. Yes. There is no trust. You parents trust you would do something that will align with their motives, you trust that your parents will do something that aligns with your motives, but in reality we all fail because trust is wild. You do not know how trust works just like you do not know if the vehicles on the road can be trusted and they will not run over you. To avoid a road accident, you are expected to use your lane and respect the signal. So, keep in your lane and don’t overstep it. 

No. 3, Understand who are you? Understand your worth, what is your significance? What have you done in life? Why would people be attracted to you? Ask yourself if the skills that you have are exclusive to you or do others also have the same. So, you make no difference to the person you are trying to attract. These questions are not meant to push you into a zone of self doubt but self inquiry so you know where you belong, in the air, water, sky, or land. This helps you get to how to not be a creep. You can’t attract anyone without being attractive, which means you need to be the other half of the magnet, do you get it?

No. 4, Just because people are nice to you, do not take it for granted. Just because your neighbor offered you food the other day while you visited them during lunch doesn’t mean you should visit them every day during lunch for the same offer. Just because someone on the road complimented your shirt or the smile on your face, doesn’t mean they are inviting you into a relationship with them. Their appreciation should not mean a new relationship that you were in desperate need of or that they are available for you. Even if they donate blood to save your life, respect them for being human, and do not intimidate. Keep moving in life without expecting to bond with everyone.

No 5. But how will you thank them without looking needy and desperate? Without stalking them online? Do a good deed. If someone made your day good with two good words, when there is a turn, make someone’s day equally pleasant with two good words without being intrusive, without encroaching their space. And such opportunities to do good are ample. If nothing, you can donate the cost of taking someone out on a coffee to people in dire situations on crowdfunding platforms, right? A week ago, a lady walking down the road to catch her bus was carrying an umbrella but she looked tense to maybe not miss the bus in the rain. I just told her that “given your beautiful umbrella, I think the rain is going to relax now.” She smiled and said yes, she likes her umbrella a lot. I didn’t stay back for long gossip. I wanted her to have this as a passing memory, a social feel good. Doesn’t matter how short lived the moment is.

And finally No. 6, the most specific answer to how to not be a creep? Do not ask private information in the moment or past the moment. If someone had to share their information, they would have even if you had forgotten to ask. The fact that they didn’t ask for your details is because they don’t need your information after the work transaction is over. Alright besides this, never ever stalk someone online based on a name from payment or booking transaction or from someone’s business card. If a person has introduced themselves to you and you look them up online, don’t lose respect by following up with them, or identifying yourself because then you’ll be outright creepy. 

The world is changing super fast. People who stalk without a legitimate work purpose are nothing but creeps who will spoil their image. You may be educated, loyal, good looking, hard working, wealthy, but nothing matters when you overwhelm someone by being intrusive. Even using emojis don’t help. Remember that transient interactions can be as meaningful as long-lasting relationships, and every interaction doesn’t need to end with a phone number, DM, or a friend request. If people trust you with a good conversation or compliment, keep it to that, don’t try to read between the lines or expect a repetition. Learn the art of letting go to grow in life with pride and self esteem and you’ll know the way to how not to be a creep.

Linda Ashok

Linda Ashok is an India English Poet & Polymath. She is a mental health advocate studying Psychology from IGNOU'25.