Are you a BAD DAUGHTER or BAD SON for unresolvable complicated relationships with your father? Let’s understand the role of a father on child development.
Do not be triggered; I don’t care about engagement. If you feel uncomfortable already, skip this post. Your mental wellbeing is my priority.
➡️ Fathers are blissful constructs of humans toward their own kind. A father, socially, is a person to dare all storms to protect and provide for their kind. But…
➡️ But, we do forget that fathers are humans, and as humans, they can be flawed. Fathers can fail in fathering their child as a result of their own behavior, their childhood trauma, and early adult behavior and experiences.
➡️ Fathers are not immune to anything that changes a person over time, such as both negative and positive social exposure. Some can stay put, some get totally refashioned by circumstances for bad.
➡️ In a situation, a father may become a terror to their own child/ren through physical, emotional, and financial abuse. A father may get harmful for the self, which impacts his children too at varying levels. Thers is a huge role of a father on child psychology beyond the reach of moral designs.
➡️ Some children learn to cope because our evolved sense of self and society teaches us responsibility to take care of the one who has given us birth and has sacrificed their life. But much like fathers, there is a breaking point for children too.
A father who has worked 16 years of his life to provide for his child’s education and a good life, one day, violates the sanctity of fatherhood by way of sexual abuse or physical abuse, or financial abuse toward his child. Is this possible? Google for stories on this.
As outsiders, we do not know what breaks a father and when he breaks into an unsafe person for his own family. The child, now an adult knows the trauma, WHICH has a few things for all of us to consider.
1. Fathers are wonderful beings and their love must be reciprocated in every possible way within the emotional and financial means and budget of a child/adult for as long as they continue to fill in the space of a father, even after they can no more earn.
2. However, if someone decides to be a father to secure a free caregiver for their old age, if someone for their insecurity, divides the siblings and poisons against the other parent, if the father goes decadent in their own social attitude, they are responsible for all consequences.
3. A father may be financially weak, but if their character is questionable and they resist change, they should forget their “sacrifices” or social responsibility they took up voluntarily to assume fatherhood. No period of being a great provider guarantees dismissal of anything grossly inappropriate. You cannot raise a lamb to sacrifice it for a good meal someday.
Bottomline, if you miss your father for an unresolvable complicated relationship, it does not make you a BAD CHILD! You have to have boundaries and if need be, disengage from toxic fathers. Paternal Psychopathology is a thing and I want you to know it sooner than later that a father has a huge role on child psychology.
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